Just thinking ....

Rumor queen had a post yesterday ... regarding the statement "meant to be" ... or "God's will" concerning adoption. ( http://chinaadopttalk.com/2010/02/17/meant-to-be/ )

You know .. I've said 100 times that God is creating Mari-Grace for me. I never really stopped to think how this might affect her ... and some of the questions she might have.

You know as an abandoned child .. it is likely that Mari-Grace will wonder ... "If it was God's will for my birth-parents to abandon me ... for whatever reason ... how can you say that God is loving. How can a God who is loving allow this to happen to me?"

WOW ... that's a big question. How do you answer that? It's questions like this that make me wonder how I will respond.

My faith in God is so strong. I truly believe that God is creating Mari-Grace ... He is forming every wrinkle, every fold, every hair, her fingers, toes, her smile ... God is taking particular care to make sure that every detail is just right.

I believe that ... with my whole heart.

I also believe that God knows she will be with me ... and as He creates her ... He is keeping me in mind. I believe that God is giving her special quirks that will fit into my family.

BUT .. how do you explain this to a child. How do you tell a child that God used her birth-parents as a vessel to carry her, allow her to grow, and then abandon her. Why would God take away her birth parents?

Thank goodness, I have time to find out the answers as best I can.

I pray that God will guide my words, when the the questions come.

I pray that He'll help Mari-Grace understand to the best of her ability that it's OK to wonder why. It's OK for her to be angry about being abandoned. It's OK to feel the loss of her birth-parents, her birth-land, her birth-culture.

And I pray that God will help us thru those tough times.